"The difference is that I was also told to not expect to be treated fairly and that I will have to work harder because my skin color was not the right one. All the rhetoric will never make us equal, only action will."
Learning something new for the New Year.
"I was done with having jobs that were less than fulfilling. I was done with working for others that did not pay me for my skills, experiences, and knowledge. "
Week 1 – Completion
" An artist cannot shut out those ideas that swirl around in their thoughts, it will always be there."
Morning pages
"Once a habit is gained then so much more can come out of it. Habits make things go smoother and help to achieve goals."
Prologue: Pandemic and “The Artist Way”
"...creatively I have been stuck for quite a while."
America in Chaos
"The past two days in our country has shown the world how truly lost we are as a nation."
2021 – Self-Preservation and Clutter
"The things that made me happy growing up where reading, writing, and being creative."
Family
January 3, 2021 Just a quick post. I created this short video compilation of my daughter’s recent visit. We realized it had been a year since I saw her in person, the Christmas before in 2019. As they grow up and build their own lives the opportunity to visit in person will become more and … Continue reading Family
Wintry weather
Inspired by this morning’s wintry weather. It’s been quite a while since we had snow. Have a wonderful day. Suzanne Beautiful morning
The new normal.
"People keep saying that they want things to go back to “Normal”. What is that and why do they think it was so great?"
Romantic Relationships – Are they really worth it?
"...That is life and how it is supposed to be, a great learning experience. We either change or we stand still. I choose to keep moving."
Observations of people – Viewpoint
"I understand that people don’t necessarily move away from their hometowns and live a life somewhere else..."
It’s not over…til it’s over
11/4/2020 As the saying goes “It’s not over until the lady sings.” She’s still warming up and about to start. Woke up this morning and the ballots are still being counted and the whole world is watching. Just seeing the numbers of those that voted again for our current chaotic leader was a let down. … Continue reading It’s not over…til it’s over
Crossing Paths: people we meet
"The only thing that changes whether the people we meet become more involved into our life is dependent on the way we carry ourselves and how we are perceived by others. Our expectations change."
Green Branch: strengths and weaknesses
"...knowing who you are and what you are capable of is a sign of strength...must have a weakness to become stronger...know what the bottom looks like to keep rising back up after each fall until you get to the point where you no longer fall."
Racism and Reparations
"...We are all citizens of this land, but we will never be truly equal until we demand it and support one another in obtaining it."
Burden by Suzanne Allen
Felt positive, sure, and moving.Put on the mask of happiness.Always a burden. Opened heart bared not hardened.Thought people actually cared.Always a burden. Tears come easy and often.The quiet of being alone is deafening.Always a burden. Soul is tired of hurting.Just wanted a life to call my own.Always a burden. This wasn’t eden the garden.It was … Continue reading Burden by Suzanne Allen
Autumn depression
"Fall time is usually the worst time of year for my depression. It starts in September and lasts until spring..."
Life of an Empty Nester
"This first year as a new empty nester wasn’t perfect and things didn’t go the way I expected but neither did the marriage or the life I had up until this point. "
Broken Vows
Vows - “a solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment”
Remembering 9/11/2001
September 11, 2020 It was an ordinary day for me. I got up, took my kids to school and day care. My husband went off to work. I went off to my college classes for that day. I was just finishing up my college algebra class that morning and heading to my macroeconomics class. As … Continue reading Remembering 9/11/2001
17 years, 28 months, 22 days
"I have...begun to realize that men don’t necessarily know what they want either despite this patriarchal society we live in...They... have developed the rules we live by but also fail by those same rules...always ...there is a balance between male and female that is a part of nature. We can’t get away from it and why would we? We are meant to balance one another not fight against it..."
Truth or Date – Dating communication
"...I told him how I felt and then I logged off my account to regroup and regain my composure. I went for a long walk and then spent that day mulling things over asking why it made me feel so bad?"
Monday thoughts
I’ve been contemplating a lot lately and considering what I want as far as a relationship goes. I realized that all the previous ones involved me giving all my time and energy into trying to make it work. It should have never been that way. Going forward the person that wants my attention will have … Continue reading Monday thoughts
The power of the written word: love.
"I questioned that God’s judgment on me was because I was born not from love, so I cannot be loved in return...because I was not born from love that I would never know what it is like to be loved."
Small milestones
August 16, 2020 Wow, a small milestone. 🤔😮💁🏽♀️🙂I have had this blog for many years and it has helped me so much. The ability to verbalize and communicate what I’m feeling is cathartic in this safe space. 200 posts over a 5 year period is approximately 3 posts a month on average. I was shooting … Continue reading Small milestones
Chance Encounters
"If I was only on that pathway for a brief walk with him then I will have to be happy with that...you can’t force a relationship...can’t make people stay with you. Life doesn’t work that way...find that happiness whenever or wherever you can."
Looking for love: In all the wrong places.
"It’s about looking for something that doesn’t exist or is not present just anywhere. If you keep searching for it that way you’ll never truly find it."
Searching for happiness; evaluating myself.
"..I have trouble setting boundaries with people which causes me to get hurt...the depression and anxiety ...keeps replaying over and over again."
Killer of enthusiasm: Loneliness
"There are approximately 7.8 billion people in the world and one cannot let a handful that you meet in your lifetime make you feel alone."
Disappointment – Lesson learned
"Honesty, integrity, and being an open communicator are paramount to any successful relationship."
Loss
July 5, 2020 Loss. 😔*Just got word of a very young relatives passing.*A parent should never have to endure the unimaginable pain of that loss. There isn’t even a word to describe it.*Things are not guaranteed in life.*We go through each day in a hurry when we should enjoy each moment.*Waking each morning to a … Continue reading Loss
Independence Day 2020
July 4th 2020 I woke up this morning with thoughts about what does The Declaration of Independence mean to me? Being a retired veteran who also happens to be a person of color. I am an indigenous person of the United States. Today being the Fourth of July and the celebration of this country’s Declaration … Continue reading Independence Day 2020
5 years
“A true leader knows how to talk to the people they want to lead...”
2 in the morning
"Anxiety and depression play a big part of the insomnia that plagues me..."
Voices in the dark
"The voices that have been crying in the dark for too long are finally being heard not only here but around the world."
Major Changes – Working through it.
Major Changes – Working through it. It has been a challenging couple of days. I had a major surgery performed this past Thursday. The first ever, surgery I have ever had, and hopefully the last. So today, with the help of technology through voice dictation, I just wanted to write a few of my thoughts. … Continue reading Major Changes – Working through it.
The Universe listened.
"...I realized, the Universe, God, The Creator, whatever you want to call it, listened..."
Why do women, mainly white women, dislike me?
May 7, 2020 I debated quite a while whether to write this or not. It is a very personal subject for me but I was finally pushed to a point of needing to say something and clear it from my thoughts finally after all these years. First of all, this not derogatory or a commentary … Continue reading Why do women, mainly white women, dislike me?
49th Trip
"Approximately 17,885 days of living and breathing on this floating rock in the universe..."
Stay Gold – Exasperated and misunderstood
It’s April 19th, 2020 and in two days, I will be 49 years old. Today, the feelings of loneliness are overwhelming because once again a person in my life decided that I wasn’t worth his time. It’s exasperating. In my lifetime I’ve always been successful at reaching some of my goals and aspirations. I’ve always … Continue reading Stay Gold – Exasperated and misunderstood
Romantic Notions
"...emotional side that has believed and still believes in love, romance, and a soul mate."
Trying something new.
March 30, 2020 Decided to try something new on my phone. Hope you enjoy! Have a wonderful day! Oklahoma Skies
Just a moment of your time.
Just a moment of your time...
Birds Chirping by SE Allen
Days seem bleak. Only been a few weeks. Early morning birds chirping. Feelings of sorrow. Sense of no tomorrow. Early morning birds chirping. Woke up today. Down mood go away. Early morning birds chirping. Time to make peace. Inner soul struggling and weak. Early morning birds chirping. Things will be okay. We’ve always got a … Continue reading Birds Chirping by SE Allen
Love: Healthy and Unhealthy attachments
"Unhealthy relationships are easy…in the beginning."
The path less traveled.
March 16, 2020 It is a Monday. The last couple of weeks have seen a worldwide event that has stopped almost all nations and their daily lives. Those affected number over 160,00 so far with a death toll of over 6,000. The World Health Organization finally categorized it as a pandemic. This means it is … Continue reading The path less traveled.
It was never about you; it was about the children.
...It was never about you; it was about the children.
Focusing on the wrong things
...I spent that same 4 decades trying to repair each iteration of pain that went through me in the waves of depression, anxiety, and sadness...
Alone in the Dark
By SE Allen Alone in the dark. Trying to be alright. Waiting for the light. Alone in the dark. Feelings of sadness. Tired of being like this. Alone in the dark. The place where I roam. Learn to be on your own. Alone in the dark. Thoughts swirl, get twisted. Feeling rejected. Alone in the … Continue reading Alone in the Dark
