"It feels harsh to have your grown children speak to you about your failures. It is even harsher knowing that it is true, and you are failing."
Muted Mondays, gratitude, habits, and random musings
"You must have faith in yourself, belief in a greater good, and hope to carry you all the way there."
Ending Toxic Relationships – Even if it is your own parents and siblings
"... the realization that they had slowly been reverting to past behaviors with me was in full view."
Listen to what speaks to our soul every day.
"The music, words, melody, and beat tell the story of who we are."
The beauty of being broken – Kintsugi
"Instead of filling in the lines with something positive...I was trying to turn it back into the original idea...not letting go."
Two years before I got sick
I won’t be throwing caution to the wind again or be so carefree with my health again.
You again by SE Allen
"I can no longer wallow in self-pity, sadness, and regret. I need to be willing to take chances on people."
Good morning, hello world – poem by Suzanne Allen
Good morning, hello world by Suzanne Allen **** Awake once more, before 6 am. Wandering thoughts again . Sleeping earlier in the night. Drifting away, I close my eyes. Dreams of what may be. Mountains, beaches, and beautiful seas. Contentment I find there. No sadness, distress, or despair. Positive thoughts becoming the norm. Mind weathering… Continue reading Good morning, hello world – poem by Suzanne Allen
Insomnia part 2 – It has not gotten better.
"...I am awake because there are so many things that I want to do...I overwhelm myself with these ideas."
Stages of Life – Communication
"I am an outlier on that stage of life expectation graph. That is the problem, who am I now? What is my purpose? Where do I go from here and the next 50 years?"
Lonesome or Lonely?
“Is there a difference between lonely and lonesome? A lonely person desires companionship. A lonesome person is lonely in a profound, long-lasting, philosophical, or especially forlorn way.” – Google search
Fortress of Solitude
"I found my fortress of solitude. I've gotten settled in, and I think I will stay for a while. "
A sister’s envy.
"Envy is a powerful feeling. It can make you take different directions or completely stall you in life."
Positive Self Image
"I can take back the power of positive self that was robbed from me by others in my life, so long ago."
Braids by SE Allen
Poem inspired by morning sunrise and daily routine.
Mother’s day and Mermaids
5/13/2022 My sister decided to have a Mother's day lunch last Sunday. I was not sure if I wanted to go but my son convinced me to get out of the house for a little while. I beaded them some pins and made them a card. All inspired by this mermaid cabochon that I had.… Continue reading Mother’s day and Mermaids
Tremors, mobility issues, and mental health
"If they believe that the tremor has no neurological explanation, then diagnose that, and let me move on."
Memories: Part 6 – The final frontier, final showdown and last 54 days.
"...my strength has come from those moments when others tried to break me down and make me feel small or insignificant. The military taught me how to get back up and keep moving forward."
Memories: Part 5 – Flying over the big pond
"That would be my sixth plane ride but the first one flying over the ocean. I was so nervous. I was going “across the big pond” as my grandmother put it."
Memories: Part 4 – The Atlantic Ocean
"I had been through so much and had to get out of there. "
Memories: Part 3 – The wide-open plains
“The wide open plains of Illinois…I was still young and trying to figure myself out”
Memories: Part 2 – Mountain views
"As stated before, my military career had rocky points. Lowry AFB was just one of them..."
Memories: Leaving on a jet plane
"I know that the experiences that I had, for better or worse, are what made me who I am today."
Follow your passion – What is mine though?
"It has been a hard journey the last eight years and I still feel lost. Aimlessly wandering down this river of life..."
Time
"The last 2 years have shown us the amount of time on this world can be abruptly shortened or interrupted with no recourse.."
Hair – A Woman’s Crowning Glory
"The saying of a woman’s hair is her “Crowning Glory” had a different meaning for me..."
Social Outcast or Toxic people?
"The realization that I do not have any of those kinds of memories because I have never had any true friends was at the forefront..."
Perceptions
"The perception...was somewhat altered when we moved my daughter to another state."
Knowing – poem by SE Allen
I know where you are, I was there too. No amount of “things”, take away the blue. Talking helps but only if you hear. It’s not the thoughts, the actions you fear. The road will be dark and long. You will struggle to find the dawn. Know this to be true. You will feel lost,… Continue reading Knowing – poem by SE Allen
Indigenous Peoples Day – October 11th, 2021
12:49 pm It was just a normal Friday morning. Drinking coffee, reading through programming articles, and preparing to do homework assignments. An alert popped up on my phone from one of the Instagram accounts I follow. I opened the app and then I saw a post about the President of the United States had just… Continue reading Indigenous Peoples Day – October 11th, 2021
I love my job because…
"The human beings we contributed to make the world a better place for others."
The Shade
"It had been years since she had been to the family’s home place..."
Long Winter
"It was only the first weeks into winter. Oklahoma winters could be unpredictable..."
The Storm by Suzanne Allen
"She was grateful. They survived the storm."
New writing challenges and website
"Who knows, maybe I have found something that will continue to keep that creative spark present in my life."
Early morning
Early morning by Suzanne Allen We brought you here 6 years ago.I was nervous to let you grow. You’ve had adventure and lots of fun.Under the hot Texas sun. College gave you perspective and taught you well.You grew tall as a person but my baby girl still. I am so proud of the person you… Continue reading Early morning
The phone call
"It has been over two weeks since I got a phone call that helped shift my focus back to where I was before January."
1,505
"The truth will always see the light."
Vows are just words
“Vows are just words but the actions it presents will either make them stronger or weakens them.”
May the 4th Be with You – A Journey of 40 years
**Repost - Originally posted May 4, 2017. Happy May the 4th. Today is May 4th and someone somewhere wisely proclaimed this as the day to celebrate Star Wars and it has been that way since 2011 but being a longstanding Star Wars fan my celebration of these movies started almost 40 years ago. It was… Continue reading May the 4th Be with You – A Journey of 40 years
Patience is a Virtue
"It is hope, faith, and belief that has kept me going. "
The beginning of this journey: A 50-year walk, so far.
"Your happiness is not dictated by others. It self-defined...It took 50 years to realize that, .. I do not plan on spending the next chapter...doing the same."
3 1/2 Weeks
"As I sit here writing after a brief time away, I await my single cup of coffee to be ready and I contemplate my life, at this moment."
You choose: vocal participant or sideline spectator?
"The difference is that I was also told to not expect to be treated fairly and that I will have to work harder because my skin color was not the right one. All the rhetoric will never make us equal, only action will."
Learning something new for the New Year.
"I was done with having jobs that were less than fulfilling. I was done with working for others that did not pay me for my skills, experiences, and knowledge. "
Week 1 – Completion
" An artist cannot shut out those ideas that swirl around in their thoughts, it will always be there."
Morning pages
"Once a habit is gained then so much more can come out of it. Habits make things go smoother and help to achieve goals."
Prologue: Pandemic and “The Artist Way”
"...creatively I have been stuck for quite a while."
America in Chaos
"The past two days in our country has shown the world how truly lost we are as a nation."
love to bake 