"The only thing that changes whether the people we meet become more involved into our life is dependent on the way we carry ourselves and how we are perceived by others. Our expectations change."

"...knowing who you are and what you are capable of is a sign of strength...must have a weakness to become stronger...know what the bottom looks like to keep rising back up after each fall until you get to the point where you no longer fall."

"...We are all citizens of this land, but we will never be truly equal until we demand it and support one another in obtaining it."

Felt positive, sure, and moving.Put on the mask of happiness.Always a burden. Opened heart bared not hardened.Thought people actually cared.Always a burden. Tears come easy and often.The quiet of being alone is deafening.Always a burden. Soul is tired of hurting.Just wanted a life to call my own.Always a burden. This wasn’t eden the garden.It was … Continue reading Burden by Suzanne Allen

"Fall time is usually the worst time of year for my depression. It starts in September and lasts until spring..."

"This first year as a new empty nester wasn’t perfect and things didn’t go the way I expected but neither did the marriage or the life I had up until this point. "

September 11, 2020 It was an ordinary day for me. I got up, took my kids to school and day care. My husband went off to work. I went off to my college classes for that day. I was just finishing up my college algebra class that morning and heading to my macroeconomics class. As … Continue reading Remembering 9/11/2001

"I have...begun to realize that men don’t necessarily know what they want either despite this patriarchal society we live in...They... have developed the rules we live by but also fail by those same rules...always ...there is a balance between male and female that is a part of nature. We can’t get away from it and why would we? We are meant to balance one another not fight against it..."

"...I told him how I felt and then I logged off my account to regroup and regain my composure. I went for a long walk and then spent that day mulling things over asking why it made me feel so bad?"

"I questioned that God’s judgment on me was because I was born not from love, so I cannot be loved in return...because I was not born from love that I would never know what it is like to be loved."

"If I was only on that pathway for a brief walk with him then I will have to be happy with that...you can’t force a relationship...can’t make people stay with you. Life doesn’t work that way...find that happiness whenever or wherever you can."

"It’s about looking for something that doesn’t exist or is not present just anywhere. If you keep searching for it that way you’ll never truly find it."

"..I have trouble setting boundaries with people which causes me to get hurt...the depression and anxiety ...keeps replaying over and over again."

"Honesty, integrity, and being an open communicator are paramount to any successful relationship."

July 4th 2020 I woke up this morning with thoughts about what does The Declaration of Independence mean to me? Being a retired veteran who also happens to be a person of color. I am an indigenous person of the United States. Today being the Fourth of July and the celebration of this country’s Declaration … Continue reading Independence Day 2020

“A true leader knows how to talk to the people they want to lead...”

"Anxiety and depression play a big part of the insomnia that plagues me..."

Major Changes – Working through it. It has been a challenging couple of days. I had a major surgery performed this past Thursday. The first ever, surgery I have ever had, and hopefully the last. So today, with the help of technology through voice dictation, I just wanted to write a few of my thoughts. … Continue reading Major Changes – Working through it.

May 7, 2020 I debated quite a while whether to write this or not. It is a very personal subject for me but I was finally pushed to a point of needing to say something and clear it from my thoughts finally after all these years. First of all, this not derogatory or a commentary … Continue reading Why do women, mainly white women, dislike me?

"Approximately 17,885 days of living and breathing on this floating rock in the universe..."

Just a moment of your time...

"Unhealthy relationships are easy…in the beginning."

...It was never about you; it was about the children.

...I spent that same 4 decades trying to repair each iteration of pain that went through me in the waves of depression, anxiety, and sadness...

January 23, 2020 It’s almost the end of the first month of the New Year.  Time always seems to move so quickly. When I was kid and I was going through a lot in my young life I used to think that the year 2020 was so far away and that there would be no … Continue reading Searching for Joy

Drive by SE Allen Road winding or straight. Destination unknown. Early or late. A chance with each trip. Things to do. A hit or a miss. Feel, success or miserable. In your control. Time is the variable. Path in the distance. Takes time. Stay persistent. We came and we saw. The trip ends. Nothing will … Continue reading “Drive” by Suzanne Allen

August 11, 2019 I started this post August 11th. Today is August 28th and so much has transpired in a short 17 days. It's hard to step back from the emotions and separate it into short, easy pieces to digest. I will try. I originally made a statement at the end of a post titled … Continue reading Momentum

August 18, 2019 I recently started this audio book called "168 Hours" by Laura Vauderkam. I was looking at my own hours of the day and how I spent it. The thoughts actually came up while I was binge watching another television series on a weeknight. Hours wasted to something that doesn't change anything for … Continue reading Creating and expression of thought – Boosting creativity

August 11, 2019 **I wrote this February 12th, 2018. Two days later the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland Florida occurred. I never posted it. In light of recent events it still reflects the same feelings. The conversation and narrative that should be occurring. We as human beings have the inalienable rights … Continue reading Others and Some

August 11, 2019 I was still upset when I woke up Saturday morning. Sleep didn’t help the thoughts. I was having a good week until about 4 pm Friday. I don’t get it. I try to be this helpful, kind, good person to everyone I meet. I go to work and do the job I’m … Continue reading Growth