I originally wrote this piece on January 31, 2015, and it was titled “To Be Alone”. At that time I was struggling with the recent finalization of our divorce, a job loss, and the possibility of losing my vehicle and home. I was spiraling downward and was losing hope. This was posted on Facebook at that time much to the dismay of family and friends. There was a great concern for my well-being by some while others unfriended me that day. I had not started counseling yet. It has almost been 3 years since the original form was written and today I went back and revised those thoughts to what I believe now. The new thoughts are written in Green while the old thoughts are in Gray.
Thank you for taking time to read it.
May peace, love and happiness always find you.
To be alone is an empty meaningless smile when you are crying inside.
To be alone is a smile that is all-knowing of the secret happiness trying to be set free.
To be alone is having many family and friends but feeling invisible among them.
To be alone among people is the soul’s quiet contemplation to become part of the vibe.
To be alone is pretending things are going great but every action is filled with doubt and regret.
To be alone is knowing that every action of greatness requires doubt and regret to grow and learn.
To be alone is to know that others will not understand but will try to.
To be alone is knowing everyone understanding you isn’t important, just your own self-awareness.
To be alone is dreading nighttime when the thoughts or self-doubt replay over endlessly forbidding rest.
To be alone is to see nighttime thoughts as an opportunity to listen to the answers so you can rest.
To be alone is the overwhelming need for companionship but expecting fault in everyone you meet.
To be alone is bravely finding self-confidence with or without companionship and willingness to trust.
To be alone is to not feel truly loved, desired or needed.
To be alone is finding love for self through actively seeking things that you desire or need.
To be alone is struggling with the darkness of your thoughts and seeking out the light.
To be alone is finding the balance between the darkness and light despite any struggling thoughts.
To be alone is crying in the darkness with no one to comfort you.
To be alone is finding solace in the darkness through self-reliance.
To be alone is an endless cycle of doubt, low self-esteem, unhappiness and feeling hopeless.
To be alone is ending doubt, low self-esteem, unhappiness and hopelessness by finding strength.
To be alone is struggling with a belief in hope for goodness in your life.
To be alone is believing in the goodness that life can bring.
To be alone is to continue to struggle but never giving up and believing in you.
To be alone is fighting against the struggles of life by never giving up and always believing in self.
To be alone is continuing to bend but not be broken.
To be alone is bending but if broken, you know that you will also mend, and be stronger in the end.