Random Musings

Major Changes – Working through it.

Major Changes – Working through it.

It has been a challenging couple of days. I had a major surgery performed this past Thursday. The first ever, surgery I have ever had, and hopefully the last.

So today, with the help of technology through voice dictation, I just wanted to write a few of my thoughts.

In the coming weeks it will be a challenge to get to a new norm for me.

As I recover and heal from this process, I look forward to changing some things that have impacted my life over the last five or six years.

I decided a few months back that it was time for me to learn something new. When I first came home from the military back in 1993, I was a new mom. I had some skills but not a lot so I decided to look for a way to earn a better living for myself and my new child. I attended a private vocational school to learn computer programming. I was excited about this new direction I was heading in.

I did very well in my studies and I thought I was going to move forward in that career field. Unfortunately, I was met with some difficulty. The obstacles were the influence of males in the workforce. The ones I interviewed with told me I should just stay home and take care of my child. I was told that programming and computer science was not made for women. I did not understand why my gender was a deciding factor in my ability to do a job. Especially since most basis of programming languages was created by both women and men.

I never went into that career field. Instead I moved on and worked any job I could get. I have been in customer service, retail, food services, and also completing my military career.

A few months ago, my children decided they were going to move to a new state. They did not see that there was any future potential here in our state. I agreed with that and encouraged them to do so. It also got me to thinking about my own future career.

I have been struggling the last six years in jobs that I do not really like. It has been OK but I knew my potential could be greater. I still have not finished my degree which is only 12 hours away from completion. Mainly, because I have not had the money or the time to complete it. I was so focused on getting divorced and starting over again. Then the unthinkable happened, my ex-husband died.

Dealing with grief and the loss of a person in your life takes a great toll on everything that you believe in. It makes you question yourself as a person and also the life that you lived with that person. This was true for me because I deal with depression and anxiety every day. It had a great effect on me and most people probably would be able to deal with differently. It has been a daily struggle for me.

When they decided to leave, I decided I was going to change too. I fortunately met this person at a job fair and it seemed to be the right timing. He was presenting information on a new technical training program that had started here in our town. This technical school is solely devoted to software engineering and coding.  

This seem like the perfect opportunity to go back to where I originally started and continue on in that career that I originally wanted. I started the application process a few days before my surgery and I am almost complete with the application. The biggest part of the application was to complete a website that is to be submitted across and to be reviewed by the panel looking at the applications for enrollment.  During the process of learning the coding language and creating this website from scratch through the coding that I put together is when I realized that this is what I really like to do. It is creating something from your own thoughts and seeing it coming to fruition. Creating something that others can see and that may be of use to them. It is truly the epitome of the word creative.

The only issue I have right now, is that I am now one handed, So I may be a little slower than the rest. This program that I am trying to get into will take approximately 9 to 12 months to complete the program. When I spoke to the person representing the school, he stated that it required a daily commitment 9 to 5 every day plus they recommended that you do not work during this time. I was hesitant at first when he told me this because I knew i still needed to support myself. That is when he told me they offered a stipend while you attend the school. I decided then that I needed to change the amount I was spending on housing and bills. It would be the only way that I would be able to commit to a nine to five day solely directed at completing this program.

I moved to this apartment in March. I started I started a new job in March as well as a supervisor. I was waiting for notification about my arm and the possibility of surgery that may be upcoming. Then the pandemic hit and most businesses shut down here except for the essential businesses. The place I worked at was considered essential so I was able to continue working.

Then I got the notice from the orthopedic surgeon, we met and discussed my MRI results. He stated that the injury I sustained required surgery. He also informed me that due to the pandemic the surgeries were temporarily on hold. He did not know when they would be open again. It was just a waiting game. Then three weeks ago I got notification that they scheduled me for May 21st. I notified my supervisor and we agreed upon the end date for my job. Due to the nature of the job and the physical requirements I would not be able to return.

All the things that I have been thinking about changing over the last year have finally come to the forefront.

Here it is today, I am now at home for an estimated period of one year, to heal and recover from the injury that I sustained almost a year ago. I am no longer working in a job that I disliked. I am trying to embark on a new path.

The new path requires me to be at home and available daily to work on these projects and getting the knowledge needed to attain a better job.

Due to the pandemic the school that I will be attending is currently working remotely because of social distancing. I have assistance that is pending to help cover expenses that will be needed over the next year plus the possibility of a stipend to be paid in lieu of a paycheck to help cover the basic needs.

I wrote about how the universe listened and answer my call a few weeks ago. This is the plan that I was working on. I just had to wait until things got moving in that direction. It is finally here.

I know it will be a challenge on a daily basis for me to complete what is needed but I am confident in my ability to accomplish whatever it is I set my mind to. In all the years I have been working I have never failed to complete what I was trying to reach. It was not always perfect and sometimes the plan had to be altered but I still accomplished what I wanted.

I look forward to when I will be able to work without pain in my arm and also the day that I complete the tasks before me.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Thank you for all the supportive words encouragement over the last few years.

Have a good week ahead!

Take care and be safe out there.

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes to you.

Suzanne.

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