Crossing Paths: people we meet

10/29/2020

These thoughts came to me this afternoon about people.

Fueled by a text I received from the guy I previously met on the dating apps and who I went to see this past weekend. As I wrote before, I told him that I would be his friend if needed.

There was no romantic ideas or attachment to him because of what he is going through, and he cut me off because he wanted to focus on himself, we had not talked for several months.

Today, he apparently went to a medicine man/spiritual advisor which was weird because that was the same topic of discussion, I was going to bring up to him this week.

It was not exactly the outcome I expected, the medicine man told him to cut all contact with the “ladies” in his life until he gets better.  So once again he said we could not talk anymore. I was disappointed to say the least.

The second time of being pushed to the side but this is the last time.  I do not go back to where I am not wanted. I give people only a few chances then I am gone. If I do have any contact with the person for whatever reason, we are no longer on the same level we were before and never will be.  It is self-preservation.

After mulling things over most of the day, I began to see some things clearer and it was eye opening that I did not realize it before or maybe I chose to ignore it.  I am not sure.

Every day we go out and about into the world and we cross paths with people no matter where we are.

The only thing that changes whether the people we meet become more involved into our life is dependent on the way we carry ourselves and how we are perceived by others.  Our expectations change.

When I go into to stores which is rarely right now, I try to always be polite, say “Thank you” and “Have a nice day.”  It is a habit.  Yet, when I am there in that moment there is no expectations that I will get the same courtesy in return and if I do not receive it back, it does not matter.  Most of the time I am unaware or not really paying attention. I only notice when the people are rude, obnoxious, or less than helpful.  Then I get irritated.  I am reflecting back what I am perceiving.

After having this thought it ballooned into the people that I have met over my lifetime.  I began thinking back to how we met and why they are not here in my life now.

The people we meet daily are just this momentary blip of human connection while the people we have more memories about are path changers and move us into other directions, that is their purpose.

As I thought back to some of these people whether it was relationships, friendships, classmates, or coworkers they all were on the path to help me change direction.  Even though I had great attachment or fondness for some of them they did not reciprocate it and that is why they did not stay. 

The men in my lifetime were only there for me discover the traits that are appealing to me as well as the behaviors that I want to avoid.  It was just to prepare me for the one that I will hopefully find one day on this path. I know what I am and am not comfortable with as it pertains to a relationship. I am becoming very forthright about it to the men I meet.

The person I want in my life must be humorous or at least can enjoy humor. They must be willing to be silly sometimes even in the most serious moments. Laughter in your life is so much better than sadness. He must be willing to grow not only the relationship but himself too.  He must be willing to continually learn new things and share what he knows. He must be compassionate, caring, and honest. He must be open and willing to share himself while knowing that his confidence in me will always match the confidence I have in him.  Two people dedicating their life to one another cannot be successful without these things.

The women in my lifetime were only there as examples of how I want to carry myself and as well as behavior I should avoid. They showed me how to be kind, gracious, and how to be confidant in who I am as a woman. They showed me how to maintain my strengths and abilities to be successful in whatever I pursue.  They also showed me how to be a nurturer to others with compassion, caring, and honesty.

I learned from both groups how be carefree sometimes and serious when it is warranted. I also learned that we have same behaviors, idiosyncrasies, faults, misgivings, and insecurities.  We as human beings are not perfect but that is okay, we were not meant to be.

Ones that changed my direction completely usually were the harshest.  They made me sad, cry, feel alone, and unsure of myself.  They hurt me emotionally and I came back different than before I met them. I was not the same after our interaction with one another and sometimes they changed too. They became the lessons in life, love, and relationships.

Then the others who were there to pick me back up, dust me off, help me focus, and push me back onto the path.  They made sure I did not repeat the lesson and reinforced any newfound confidence.  They helped save me from myself. They are the ones I miss the most, but they were meant to be the helpers in the world and could not stay.

Then those who made this major depressive, anxiety ridden, and insecure person, feel happiness.  They made me laugh, dance, and enjoy life, even if was just briefly. They were these momentary side trips on the path.

We do not know how long our path in life will be. That is the secret the universe keeps to herself.

All we can do is keep crossing by each other and be lucky enough to have someone with us on the same path one day. 

Hopefully, if we have done it right, we leave a large path for others to follow.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Have a great week!

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always!

Take care and be safe out there.

Suzanne

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