February 17, 2021
It has been well over a month since I last wrote anything.
I decided last year before I had my shoulder surgery that I was done with having jobs that were less than fulfilling. I was done with working for others that did not pay me for my skills, experiences, and knowledge. I was done with making less than I should be at this point in my life.
I had also decided that I was done with working for others that did not take me seriously or treated me badly in the process.
Before I got my prognosis of a torn rotator cuff and the need to have surgery in April of 2020, I was already contemplating going back to school to learn a specific skill. I had already met with the school representative at veteran’s career fair back in February of 2020.
After my surgery then came the physical therapy but by that point, I had already started the process of enrolling into this program. I began their online application process which was lengthy culminating in the zoom interview with a few others. Then there was another 30-minute online test to determine if we met their criteria for enrollment.
I passed everything and got into this program but then I was not ready to start during their September cohort because of the physical therapy. My start date was pushed back to January 2021.
I have been taking this course for almost 30 days now which is the trial period to determine if it is a good fit or not before becoming locked into the payback agreement for the tuition. Fortunately for me because of the school location within my city they are offering other incentives that make it a good opportunity.
I have enjoyed the challenges of learning the course material, but I also know that I am kind of slow. I am taking longer to comprehend, understand and complete the material. This week is my week to catch up on everything and to be certain if this pace is something that I can keep up. I also know from our facilitator that there are others who are further behind than I am. It made me feel better about my progress.
Everyone that I have met online during this course so far has been truly kind and helpful. I feel kind of awkward and left out during our peer learning sessions where we work as a group. Then I remember that for some of them this is their second go around on this trimester and others have worked in programming either for a job or as a hobby before. I sit back most times and listen, take notes, occasionally asking questions if it is something that I really cannot find an answer to.
Learning coding, programming languages, and attempting to become a full stack software engineer at the age of almost 50 is not exactly where I thought I would be, but I like the idea of this challenge.
I want to complete this program and prove those misogynistic men who would not hire me all those years ago when I completed a year-long programming course as a then single mom, that I can do this.
I also want to prove my late ex-husband wrong for stopping me when I attempted to get a bachelor’s degree in computer science.
I had completed all my core requirements, had a 3.8 GPA, was on the Deans honor roll and was invited into an honor society at my school all the while serving in the military, being a housewife and mother to small children.
All I needed at that time was to start the programming courses which were twice a week in the evenings, but he bullied me out of it and made me feel bad for even thinking about it. I changed my degree program to a business and management degree for which I have yet to complete the last 12 hours.
These two instances, I have never forgotten, and it only makes me more determined to attempt this program and succeed.
It is that grit and growth mindset that has kept me pursuing the things that I want out of life. It is those traits that have kept me focused, motivated, and willing to take chances even when I was at my lowest.
I never give up and I never surrender. If I fail or fall, I get right back up and come out swinging again, learning from the experience and move on. I have been told that some of things I want are foolish notions or daydreams but that is the whole purpose of aspirations and goals. The people that tell you that you cannot do it should be the fuel to keep that fire and passion burning.
I will keep pushing on towards the future that I want for myself. I will keep finding those reasons every day to get up and get going. I stay motivated, positive, and keep moving forward.
As I continue with this course, I have the idea of starting a separate blog dedicated to the ins and outs of going through a program geared towards becoming technologically savvy as a middle aged, empty nester. That is an idea that I have not fully worked out yet, so we will see if that transpires.
So, for now anyway, I will continue in this pursuit. I will work through the time management issues and need to build up my reading skills again.
I will wake up every day, grateful for the opportunities before me. I will be mindful of those negative self-doubts always just beneath the surface. I will let the past stay there and not dwell on it.
Every day is a new day and a new chance to start again.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
Have a great week!
Take care and be safe.
Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always.