Random Musings, Well being

The beauty of being broken – Kintsugi

The beauty of being broken – Kintsugi

July 23, 2022

Kintsugi – “The Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art.”- http://www.nbcnews.com

As I grew into the adult that I am, I had to live through numerous relationships and friendships ending. I also grew up in a toxic environment that did not allow the ability to trust others to flourish.

I have written about it here on occasion. Whether it was dwelling on previous relationships, the trauma of my existence or the online friendships that went awry.

In the overall end, every broken promise of friendship, love, or something ever lasting has a profound affect on the way one views themselves as well as the idea of “belonging.”  These breaks leave a mark not only on your heart but your soul. Sometimes, it makes one become weary, tired, and untrusting.

We are human beings though and designed to be a part of a community of others. It is the individual notions of love, devotion, and everlasting that determine how we fit within that community. For those who had tragic or traumatic lives, it makes this seem “unattainable or unrealistic.”

It something that I struggle with, knowing that all those scars are still there, and may never heal.

In my peer art therapy class, we were discussing our outward view of ourselves, and someone mentioned the Kintsugi art form as a part of their project.

It took time to realize that all these years, every time I had my ego beaten down or my heart broken, that instead of just letting the scars heal, I was filling them back in with stone. I was not going to allow that part to be broken again. I was trying to make sure I was unbreakable. It is unrealistic to believe that a broken piece is the same strength as before, there are still tiny cracks that are unseen.

Instead of filling in the lines with something positive and learning from it such as when the broken pieces are filled with gold. I was trying to turn it back into the original idea or thought and not letting go. I was not the same though and it showed in every interaction I had with others.

I either became too aggressive or was called a bully. Then there were times when I became too passive and allowed others to take advantage for the sake of not being alone. Neither of these are the positive outlook I was seeking, and it was detrimental to my overall well-being.

The lack of patience on my part has played an even bigger role in how I deal with others. It is a constant daily struggle and the realization that I do not want to be in charge. All I want is to have a voice or have an opinion in the conversation.

As I go forward and try to develop relationships more, I will try to take any of those negative lines of thoughts and turn them into gold instead. I will apply it to the broken lines and discover what I learned from it.

Then in the end, as I look back at the scars that make me who I am, I will see the beautifulness left behind.

I will know that I did my best.

That is all we can really do.

Thank you for stopping by.

Have a wonderful week!

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always.