Random Musings, Well being

9/11 – A change to perspective


The date and time that changed things but not for everyone; 9/11/2001, 8:46 am Eastern Standard Time

I wrote about this day in my blog article “Remembering 9/11/2001.” Over the last few years, my perspective has changed and is becoming more jaded as I get older.

Today I am writing about what my thoughts and feelings are now.

I remember that morning vividly. I was in college and had just left my math class. I was walking down the hallway to my next class and I noticed that it seemed slightly chaotic. It was not the normal vibe of people going to classes. I saw people on their phones and standing in groups but I was not paying that much attention. My full focus was on my next subject.

I got to my class, sat down, and started reviewing notes. People were standing and watching the television. I heard a gasp and looked up to see the second tower being hit. I sat there in this sort of daze or disbelief.

My initial thoughts were that it was a trailer for a movie or something like that.

Then the professor walked in, everyone was silently watching the aftermath unfolding before us. I heard a few sobs and saw a few people hanging their heads down.

The reality that New York City and America was under attack had not sunk in. He turned off the television and told the class that if anyone wanted to leave that it was okay but we were going to continue on with the class. A few visibly upset people left.

Midway through the class, my phone rang and so did a couple of the other men’s. It was our military units doing a recall.

We excused ourselves, stepped outside, confirmed our location, and were told we were on standby awaiting further orders. We just looked at each other and nodded in some sort of silent understanding of one another.

The realization that I may have to deploy to another country to fight a war was just another shock to the system. A system that was already trying to grasp the situation being revealed before us in those moments.

Everything after class was over and as I headed home was a combination of being surreal and fuzzy. I called my then husband, he asked if my unit had called, I told him yes. I said I was picking up the kids from school and daycare then going home. He said his workplace was releasing everyone to go home as well.

I stopped by a local gas station to grab some coffee and it was this unreal chaotic scene, people were panicked, some were crying, and others were visibly angry. There were massive lines forming at the gas pumps, people buying massive amounts of water, and snacks. I quickly got what I needed and went on to pick up my kids.

The next few weeks was nonstop coverage and scenes of destruction being played over and over again. I could not watch it and argued with my then husband to just turn it off. He was a man obsessed with watching it continuously.

It was not until my kids drew pictures of burning buildings and people falling out of them that he finally moved to the spare room to watch with the doors closed. I still, to this day, do not know what the aftereffects were on my kids. They say they do not remember much, hopefully that is true.

As the years passed, I could never bring myself to watch anything related to that day. It is that feeling of being helpless and unable to do anything that played with my emotions in those first few days. It was still gnawing at my conscience and could never be rectified. Those feelings finally started subsiding about 5 years ago. I now know it was the trauma of that event.

Today marks the 21st anniversary of that tragic and terrible day.

Twenty one years and not much has actually changed in the United States and the rest of the world.

There are still global terrorists and the domestic terrorism in our own country has increased. Mass shootings have increased. The poor are still poor and the rich have become obscenely rich. There are wars still being waged in other countries across the globe.

There was even a worldwide pandemic and it did not change humanity for the better. It slowed things down temporarily but did not last.

At what point will we say enough is enough?

When will the value of a human life actually increase and have meaning?

The world we live in and the lives we lead are not about humanity, grace, faith, hope, or a myriad of other important aspects to life, instead it has become about the desire for more.

Life has become about money, power, and control. At some point, this too will no longer be valid, but when, is the question.

Until the day, we actually value the life we have been given, the dark sides of humanity will still prevail.

Change will never come until we decide that we want something beyond what money can buy. Every dollar we spend, every item we produce and consume is just leading to more destruction of the world around us.

At some point, we have to realize that we are not in control of this world. Power is just an illusion to keep control over the masses. The people at the top want the people underneath to feel grateful for the crumbs they feed us and for some reason we have accepted this.

There will come a day when the systems in place will collapse, under the weight of staying the same, and not changing. Then where will we be as the human race?

The systems of oppression can only be undone when we decide we have had enough. It only takes a fraction of the world’s population to initiate change but would be so much better and easier to change, if there was a general consensus around the world.

Today, 9/11/2022, marks a day that was heard around the world. It is just a yearly reminder that things did not change despite all the cries for justice.

We are still fighting the same fight as before.

We need to honor the fallen and also remember the ones that are still here.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Have a momentous week!

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always.